Friday, June 15, 2012

Help Dad...Mom Needs You!

As moms, sometimes there are moments that we think we have everything under control.  There are also those moments that only another mom could understand what you're going through.  And no matter how hands-on a dad is, he could never truly understand the term "a mother's work is never done".  We moms are responsible for every single detail that goes on in our children's lives.  While /dad's mind may be stuck on paying daycare tomorrow, our minds are already far ahead planning summer vacations, deciding on summer camps and thinking of the beginning of the coming school year!   I'm not in any way putting down dads in his article but let's be real, moms are always on the case!  We are always one extra step ahead of the game.  That's why when we are truly not feeling 100% we struggle to ask for help.  We want to live up to our reputation of being able to do it all no matter how we are feeling.  And when we are really in severe pain, our plea for help doesn't always come out appropriately or is often not taken seriously by our significant other.  This can be a huge deal especially if you don't have any family around to assist you.  Your husband is pretty much IT!

So after many uncomfortable moments of "working through the pain", I have come up with several tips on how to effectively ask for and accept help from dad:

1. Explain exactly how you feel (SAY, “I am in severe pain”) and that you can't be super mom today.  TELL him that you need him to take over in the home.  Nine times out of ten, this conversation often goes very wrong because there will likely be a breakdown in communication.  But be adamant and be very clear!  NEVER assume he knows how you are feeling.
2. Make sure to schedule a doctor’s appointment to be sure that you will get treatment immediately.  That way he'll know you are serious.  Plus, you're taking initiative to make sure you get better.
3. Be prepared for him to ask you a gazillion questions on how to do everything from prepping the children's lunches to what he should take out for them to wear to school.
4. Talk to the children and explain to them that Daddy’s in charge for a little while and to go easy on him. (LOL)
5. Finally, if things go as planned, hubby takes charge and is successful in getting things done, PLEASE be sure to sing his praises.  Let him know you appreciate him taking over the mommy role.

Recognize that each relationship is different and some of the things I mentioned in this blog in some relationships are a given.  Some husbands and dads are very hands on and some are not.  The important thing is to be able to work as a team and to have each other’s back when times get rough.  As the saying goes, two hands are better than one. 

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.          -Ecclesiastes 4:9

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