How to Instill Effective Apologies in Children...Adults too!

Greetings!  I hope this post finds you all well.  So my boss told me about this four step method that I just had to share with you.  I found it intriguing how in my own parenting that I seemed to have missed a couple of steps when mediating between my children. "I'm Sorry" doesn't always make everything better or acceptable...

It's also important to know that this method can work for adults and children.  Both should almost always include one final step and that's to repair the relationship by hugging.  Hugging seals the deal and shows commitment to preserving the relationship.

Check out the link below for details on this four step method:

 How to Instill Effective Apologies in Children

My Mama, My Best Friend!

Is your mom your best friend?  I remember a time when I couldn't stand my mother! It's amazing how time changes our relationships.  Now that I've grown up, gotten married and become a mom to my own children, my mom has become one of my closest confidants. I can see things much differently now than I did when I was 15 and 20. I always thought my mom was out to distract or prohibit me from anything that involved fun or a good time.  But now I realize that she was always looking out for my best interests.  The difference with her form of parenting and my form of parenting is that when she said "no", she never gave a reason why.  I am a firm believer that children learn more when they can understand why we are saying no.  They may not fully understand but I know that with my daughter, she is sharp enough to catch on to why I tell her to look both ways for cars before crossing the street.  I have explained to her time and time again that children need to be aware of their surroundings. As she grows it becomes more apparent that she actually listens to her mama!  So CHEERS to all the moms who are always looking out for our best interests and and who eventually become their daughter's best friend.

Check out this awesome article that spoke to me as a mom.  Reasons #2,4,8,9,11 and 15 in particular totally emulate similar qualities of my mom:

22 Reasons Why Your Mom Was Your First Friend, And Will Be Your Best Friend For Life

Do Your Children Talk Back?

Courtesy of Lesleyanneyp.com

Parenting is no easy task!  We all find ourselves challenged by our children at some point or another.  I know for me, talking back hardly ever happened between me and my mom.  My mom had "the look"!  You know the look that old school Caribbean parents gave you that made your heart start beating faster and left a lump in your throat because you knew what they were capable of.  You got a taste of it a while ago and told yourself next time I will just heed "the look" instead of the consequences (spankings).  Unfortunately, I am here to tell you that "the look" doesn't work on this generation of children.  Neither does spankings and sometimes even time outs!   I've found that I talk to my kids a whole lot more than my mom used to talk to me and my brothers.  I also found that a combination of time outs, turning off the television  and taking away of toys/gadgets works most of the time for me.  When my children talk back, my initial reaction is to get upset and angry.  After all, who are they to talk back?  They don't work or pay any bills in this house, right?  These are the thoughts that go through my mind.  Then I have to stop, breathe and remind myself that if I said all those things to a 6 year old and a 4 year old, they wouldn't at all understand where was coming from! So I use a combination of the following with my children depending on the scenario: setting limits ahead of time, turning a deaf ear, keeping my composure and recognizing and encouraging good behavior.  What kinds of parenting methods are you using at home?  Take a look at this article and if talking back happens to be one of the more stressful aspects of parenting, you might want to see if you can pick up some tips. 

Talking Back: Why it Happens and What to do About it

Goodbye Summer and Hello Fall

So summer is over, my munchkins went back to school, it's a new semester at my college and I've started teaching again.  I've been so busy readjusting back to the all responsibilities of September and school-age kids that I've been neglecting my blog!  Nevertheless, we're in October but that doesn't mean that I haven't been saving articles and thinking of various ways to share my love.  Sometimes, things have to be put on hold so that we can get our lives to balance out.  The most important things in our lives should always be the things that are irreplaceable, namely, our loved ones.  So now that everything and everyone is all settled in, I'm ready to get back on my blogging grind.  Thanks so much for being patient and staying connected. Take a look at my two sweetie pies on their first day of school.

1st Day of School for my little ones

Are Your Children in Summer Camp?

Image courtesy of Stony Creek Swim Center

This is my children's first year of summer camp.  My little ones are 6 and 4 years old so naturally, I had to find something to occupy them for the summer.  Last year they were with the babysitter which was fine.  She took them on various activities throughout the summer.  A couple of summers ago we went on vacation to the U.S. Virgin Islands and the resort that we stayed with had this huge pool with a slide and everything!  My babies loved it but couldn't really swim!  That for me and my husband was a cause for concern.  Particularly because we can't swim either.  So this summer I decided that I wanted them to learn to swim.  I was introduced to this great camp that is affiliated with my job.  It's called Highland Academy.  Turns out, they provide transportation to swimming lessons on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  So I signed my little ones up and I can see the benefits already.  They're making new friends, remaining active and they're excited about going to camp.  Most importantly, hubby and I took them to the lake this past weekend and we could see them applying what they have learned from their swimming lessons.  My daughter was showing me how she learned to blow bubbles in the water and how she can float.  My son looked a lot more confident in the water than before.  The other great part about this camp is that they provide an academic hour in the mornings.  So camp is not all about play!  I love it because I was concerned that they would forget all that they learned this school year but camp has proven me wrong.  So I have them work on one subject at camp and another subject at home with me.  It seems to be working out well!  I do plan to take swimming lessons next year as well.  It's a definite bucket list item for me.  In the meantime, while they are at camp, some of us moms should take a day off from work and consider doing a few of the following activities! :-)

"11 Things Parents Should do While the Kids are at Summer Camp"

What's a Nursing Mom to do?

Were you or are you a nursing mom?  I can vaguely remember being shamed with looks from some family and friends when I had to nurse my babies.  Thank goodness I had the backbone to "carry-on" regardless of their looks!  My babies needed nourishment from me and no one was going to delay or stand in the way of that.  I never look back on those amazing moments to bond with my little ones with regret.  I often find myself feeling the warm and fuzzies when I see another mom nursing her baby.  I think it's the most natural form of nourishment for babies.  Every mom has a choice to breastfeed or formula feed.  The keyword is "choice" here.  I don't think it's fair to judge, criticize or shame nursing moms.  The weeks and months post delivery are tough enough on new moms.  We should be praising them for taking care of their little ones and providing for their needs.  Check out the article below to see how art director students at the University of North Texas are promoting awareness on nursing moms and breast feeding.


Read article here: Would you eat here?

Think You've Got Parenting All Figured Out?

Image Courtesy of www.dailyinspirationalquotes.in and Being Mommy

I came across this pretty cool article about parenting that really spoke to me.  Since my blog is about love, I felt that I would share this with my followers and fellow parents.  I know every day is a struggle and we try our best to be the best for our children.  Let's try not to be too hard on ourselves.

Click here: 10 Common Mistakes Parents Today Make (Me Included)

Mother/Daughter Tea

For Mother's Day, I was finally able to attend the Mother/Daughter Tea with my daughter at her school.  Normally, we head out of town Mother's Day weekend but this year we stayed at home. My daughter and I were elated that we were going to attend the Mother/Daughter Tea together.  We planned what dresses we would wear and what jewelry we would put on.  We even planned how we wanted our hair. It was our first tea with her elementary school so I was unsure how we should dress.  So I opted on the safe side and we wore dresses.  It was after all, a tea!  Well, let's just say the girls did wear dresses but I felt a little over-dressed among the other moms.  Nevertheless, I quickly got over it and rationed that this was our moment and that we had to dress the part.  We had a fabulous time.  My daughter was given a wand to prance around with for the day.  We ate cookies, donuts, cupcakes, we drank punch and iced tea.  They had a movie playing in the background and a craft for the girls to do.  At the end, they had a raffle and my baby girl won a potted plant to take home.  Check out our pictures and until my next post, sending you love from the sweeter side of life!

My little man turned 3 years old

My son is becoming a big boy day by day.  We celebrated his 3rd birthday a couple months ago.  He was so excited, can't you tell by the huge smile on his face as he looked at his cake!  Birthdays don't always have to be a big to-do! Milestone birthdays are the exception. We decided on a small celebration with just close family in Brooklyn. Sometimes the best celebrations are the ones where you spent time with your family and let them spoil you.  Speaking of being spoiled, the next day my brother took my son and his sister to Coney Island. Check out their pictures below.

  Until my next post, sending you love from the sweeter side of life!

I'm back from my Hiatus!

Hello Friends!  I just wanted to let you know that this SugaCityGyal had to take some time off.  Things were getting extremely hectic and when that happens, sometimes we have to just take a break.  So with working full time, teaching, being mommy and being wife, I had to make the difficult decision to ease up on my blog to devote more time to pressing family concerns.  Now that it's almost summertime, I have many family updates as well as new Love Tales to share. So keep checking back for more exciting adventures with SugaCity Love Tales.

Keeping Things Interesting!

So I was finally able to drag the hubby out to dance with me.  We went to a Sparkling breakfast party (it was literally called Sparkle)...an event that could only be invented by Trinidadians!  You see, in Trinidad, these island people fete (party) at any hour of the day.  It is said that the Caribbean islands of Trinidad and Tobago have popularized Carnival throughout the Caribbean and in parts of the United States.  One of their many fetes include breakfast parties.  Sparkle in particular, began at 6am and ended roughly about 12 or 1pm.  It took place on New Year's Day.  So instead of us going out to a party on New Year's Eve to ring in the new year, we rang in the new year at home with our children and my mom, then went to sleep and woke up ready to Sparkle!  Folks came out dressed to frazzle and dazzle.  It was a great time and I'm still reminiscing on how great it was to be out with my love...just the two of us.  Many thanks to Sugarcane Restaurant in Brooklyn, NY for having a classic and elegant event.  The food and drinks were fabulous and the music was amazing. Couple time is definitely a must when you are married with children.  We are almost overdue for our next escapade!  Until then...take care.

The second child always gets the short end of the stick!

It's the funniest phenomenon, when we have our first child, we do everything for them!  We have the biggest baby shower. We buy the best products with the best reviews.  We have a gazillions pictures taken of them.  We send out new arrival cards. We plan this enormous 1st birthday party.  We rush to have them christened.  We travel all over the world with them. We nurse them for up to one year (well some of us). :-)  We devote lots of attention to what they eat, giving them the healthiest foods.  We even spend lots of time on potty training.  But when the second child comes along, we quickly realize that all that time we had to prepare for the first child is now suddenly gone!  All that energy that we had with the first child is also gone.  We become exhausted and mommy brain takes over again but now it's double the dose!

Is Your House Clean and Organized at all Times?

Ever go to someone's house and find that its sparkling every single time?  Not one dust mite, not one sofa pillow out of place and you cringe remembering what you left behind in your house!  Well I find myself guilty!!! How do these women do it?  What's their secret?  If you're one of those women, I do hope that you will share your cleaning and organization regimen.

Transitioning to sippy cup!

Just so you know, this post is several months late and before you judge me, here me out! :-) I was having the hardest time transitioning my little Noah from a Nuby-style sippy cup (see pictures on the side) to a real (big boy) sippy cup.  Most of his frustrations were based on losing his comfort.  The Nuby represented comfort for him.  He would fall asleep with it and depend on it during the night to soothe himself back to sleep if he woke up or had a bad dream.  It took me about 2-3 weeks to ween him off the Nuby onto a big boy sippy!  Here's how I did it:

ME!

So I've been missing someone!  I haven't seen this person in a while.  I can't tell you the last time we hung out together, laughed together or even cried together for that matter!  I remember the days when we used to take a day off from work to go to the movies for double matinees, stop in for a quick bite in a restaurant, head to the nail salon for a mani and pedi and find refuge at the hair salon in the perfect care of our hair stylist.  I truly can't remember the last time we just breathed and enjoyed genuine peace and quiet!  No nagging, no appointments, no phone calls, no running around like a chicken with it's head cut off.  Just calm moments in front of the fire place, curled up watching romance movies.  Or, a day out in the stores for some serious retail therapy.  Some time off with this special someone is clearly overdue.  Aha!  Alas, I remember now...the missing honoree is none other than ME!

A Different Type of Love Tale

As we continue to #thinkpink and raise awareness for breast cancer and breast health during the month of October, here's an inspiring tale of courage, support and love.  A colleague of mine would like to share her family's close encounter with breast cancer through her blog, Party Rockin Mom.

An Ode to Teci's Tatas
http://partyrockinmom.blogspot.com/2012/08/an-ode-to-tecis-tatas.html

The Never-Ending Balancing Act: What to do when you have too many commitments?

Let me know when you all figure it out!  Just kidding!  :-) SIGH!  When I begin to feel overwhelmed, I truly just feel like I could crawl up under a rock and escape it all.  But what good would that do me?  I will still have to grades papers for my online course, conferences to attend, gymnastics on Wednesdays for my daughter, birthday parties and other family obligations.  Also, let's not forget my full-time job!   It's a wonder any of us working moms even remember our names.  I think it's important to stay on top of commitments and here are some ways I try to keep my balancing act in order.

Appreciation Goes Both Ways

Always show your spouse how much you appreciate them.  I came home from a weekend away to a sweet surprise from my husband!  First of all, we are both fascinated with interior design and gardens.  Our idea of a relaxing afternoon at home is defined by two glasses of wine and HGTV!   So imagine my amazement when my son, daughter and I walked in to find that he had single-handedly painted the kitchen, painted and redecorated the dining room and refreshed our front yard garden!  My heart melted because these are the not-so little things that make me happy.  He did all this in a weekend to surprise us!  So...how do I plan on showing my appreciation?  Well a fancy homemade dinner in our newly decorated dining room is definitely in order!  I will make his favorite meal and dessert.  I will also plan a surprise for him that I won't mention on here for fear that he might read this blog and spoil the surprise.

How Often Do You Say I Love You?

 The other day I got the sweetest text from my husband.  It said "be safe in Brooklyn, love you and the kids...love you's all"!  I suppose that last part was supposed to be interpreted in a New York/New Jersey accent.  (smile)  It actually did make me smile but it also made me wonder about something.  I wondered about those three words "I love you".  How hard is it for us to say that to our loved ones?  I remember that I very rarely said it much as a child growing up.  I didn't hear it much from my parents although I could see by the things they did and the sacrifices that they made that they did indeed love me and my brothers.  I didn't hear it from my brothers either, even though I could tell by the way they teased and beat me up that they did love their little sister.  I didn't hear it from my aunts and uncles either.  It was a dynamic that left me feeling awkward when I would hear others say those words, like on television, in movies and even in real life.  It wasn't until I got much older that I truly realized the importance of those words and why we all needed to hear it.

Judgmental Parents

One of my biggest pet peeves is folks that are always passing judgment on others.  Yes, we all have an opinion on how someone behaves and yes, we all have our thoughts on how someone dresses.  But it’s also up to us to determine whether to voice these opinions or not.   As they say, with age comes wisdom.  I honestly try my darndest not to judge people.  Of course thoughts may come into my head but I try to hold back the judgmental words that would have normally come out of my mouth years ago.  Because the reality is we have no idea what’s going on with someone that may explain why they behave the way that they do.  As mothers, we tend to be the BIGGEST judge and jury….fathers too!