The 10 Habits That Keep Marriages Strong

In today's world, the economy makes it so difficult for couples to stay completely in tuned with our marriages.  Both husband and wife are working full-time and if you have children, that makes it even more difficult to concentrate on each others needs. Children tend to need more attention (from newborns to college students).  What my husband and I have found helpful is connecting with other married couples (newlyweds and well as veteran couples), married family members and even magazine/newspaper/journal articles to help us focus on our marriage from time to time.  The following article contains great tips on how to keep your marriage going strong.  Check it out!

The 10 Habits that keep Marriages Strong

Has Your Marriage Changed Since You've had Children?

Marriage changes a lot of things. You're literally going from one world to another! It changes you as a person.  It changes how you view certain scenarios.  It changes how others view you and your spouse.  It takes a bit of getting used to which is why I tend to advise newlyweds to wait at least a year before having children.  Honestly, if I had gotten married at a younger age, I might have waited two to three years before having children. A part of me feels like one year wasn't enough time to enjoy being married.  It wasn't enough time to give each other that undivided attention that takes forever to get back once children come into the picture.  Neither here nor there, we make decisions and figure out ways to adapt.  Once the babies are here, we can't send them back!  So we try to squeeze in things like date nights, couples nights, weekend getaways, couples vacations and couples staycations whenever we can in order to keep that connection going with our spouses. I can absolutely say that my marriage has changed since my little ones came along but if anything, it changed for the better!  After 8 years, my husband and I have grown so much and learned so much about ourselves.  We've gotten through so many challenges, disappointments and accomplishments all while taking care of ourselves as well as our children.  We've learned what we are most passionate about, how to balance our lives and how to set priorities.  All this while creating life, maintaining it and making memories.  In what ways have children changed your marriage? Check out the article below and see if it reflects any of your changes.

5 Ways Having Kids Has Changed My Marriage

February = Love (Part 1)

I'm approaching my 8th anniversary with my husband and although I've already gone through the whole engagement and marriage process, I still get enamored with all the festivities involved!  Makes me want to get engaged and married all over again.  It's amazing how fast time flies when you're in love! Take a look at these amazing engagement pictures featured by my fellow blogger, The Bride's Cafe.  Images are courtesy of  Beverli Alford Photography.

DC Engagement Session - Bianca & Sherrod

Loving All That Is In Me

I remember when my husband (then boyfriend) and I began dating, the second time around.  It was at one of the most insecure times of my life because that was when I was transitioning to natural hair.  I was rocking afros, twists, head wraps and I finally bit the bullet and locked my natural hair.
   Transitioning from relaxed hair to natural hair is a tough time for many African/Caribbean-American women.  I remember standing in the mirror for hours thinking that my hair was my beauty and why in the world did I cut it off in the first place. Well the reality was that my hair was merely an enhancement to the real me.  I didn't get it until my boyfriend uttered those three special words, "I love you".  Really?  Even with my crazy, uncooperative hair?  Well, yes, absolutely!  You see, my hair didn't define my heart.  Thank God he didn't buy into the superficial concepts that hair denotes beauty.  He looked at my heart and that's where our love blossomed.  Not on my smile, eyes, or my boobs or butt.  He saw the love that I exuded.  Love of family, love of friends, love of God and somewhere under there, he even saw my love for myself. 

   Without knowing it, he inspired me even more to embrace the natural me and to love the new person that I was becoming.  Our love for each other grew more and more.  On various occasions, he gave me a glimpse of how our lives would be together if we were to get married.  He was supportive, loving, attentive, sensitive and very loyal.  So when he proposed, without hesitation, I said Yes!  In the picture displayed, I just remember being the happiest girl in the world.  Today, six years later, I have no regrets.  I continue to explore love and try my best to promote it every way that I can.  In the end, love is all you need.  Until my next post, sending you love from the sweeter side of life!

Spiritual Love

As a working wife and mom, I'm reminded each day how important it is to say and show love to myself and the people closest to me.  As a child, I was shown love but hardly ever heard the words "I love you".  Now that I have a husband and children of my own, I make sure to say these words every opportunity I get.  Seeing and hearing love is equally as important.  I knew my parents loved me by the sacrifices that they made for me but not hearing that I was loved somehow affected my self-esteem and left me somewhat insecure for a portion of my life. 

  

True Love Once Again

Margaret was at her regularly scheduled hair appointment with her favorite hair stylist Bev.  During her visit, she happened to mention that she and her boyfriend Charles had broken up.  Well Bev knowing that Margaret was a great catch, remembered that her friend Daniel had recently broken up with his girlfriend.  So Bev decided to play matchmaker, thinking that Margaret and Daniel were two great people and would really hit it off.  Bev asked Margaret if it was okay to give Daniel her number.  Margaret agreed, thinking it couldn’t hurt to meet someone new.  Due to unforeseen events in Daniel’s life, it took him several weeks to call Margaret.  When he finally did call, they spoke for 2 hours. 

How Often Do You Say I Love You?

 The other day I got the sweetest text from my husband.  It said "be safe in Brooklyn, love you and the kids...love you's all"!  I suppose that last part was supposed to be interpreted in a New York/New Jersey accent.  (smile)  It actually did make me smile but it also made me wonder about something.  I wondered about those three words "I love you".  How hard is it for us to say that to our loved ones?  I remember that I very rarely said it much as a child growing up.  I didn't hear it much from my parents although I could see by the things they did and the sacrifices that they made that they did indeed love me and my brothers.  I didn't hear it from my brothers either, even though I could tell by the way they teased and beat me up that they did love their little sister.  I didn't hear it from my aunts and uncles either.  It was a dynamic that left me feeling awkward when I would hear others say those words, like on television, in movies and even in real life.  It wasn't until I got much older that I truly realized the importance of those words and why we all needed to hear it.

What to do when you want to dance and hubby doesn't?

Come on, I'm an island gyal!  Dancing is what we do, shaking a tail feather is part of we culture...among other things.  So imagine my dismay when Carnival rolls around and hubby says, "nah mon, I can't deal with the Carnival madness anymore".  Really, since when?  You’ve been dealing with it for years helping to put together big trucks for the parades, organizing bands and deejaying parties.  So how all of a sudden it's "madness"?  I'm not saying I'm this big party animal but I do like to enjoy a concert or some sort of Carnival related event for the Labor Day weekend in Brooklyn.  My agenda is merely to go out and dance with my man.  Have a little flirtatious whining session and to feel sexy in our relationship.  Long story short, here are some tips to get that hot and groovy session scheduled: